Expecting a little one? It’s natural to feel a mix of excitement and maybe a touch of overwhelm. Let’s talk about some things that might surprise you about childbirth.

10 things I wish I’d known about childbirth, that may help you feel more prepared and in control.

(And hey, if these pique your interest, bring these up to your doctor at the next appointment! I added some questions you can ask them as we go so you can copy these) 

You don’t have to give birth in the hospital.

Giving birth at home or in a birth center can provide a more relaxed and intimate setting for the birth of your baby. It allows you to have more control over the birthing process and can provide a more personalized experience. This option is safe for low-risk pregnancies and has similar or better outcomes compared to hospital births.

Local things to know about the home birth option. North Carolina does not recognize Certified Professional Midwives. While home birth is legal in North Carolina, the legal landscape is tricky. South Carolina does recognize CPMs giving you more options for home births here. 

There are two stand alone birth centers in North Carolina Natural Beginnings in Statesville https://www.naturalbeginningsnc.com/ and Bella Donna in Jacksonville NC. Fun fact I had my second child at Natural Beginnings before moving to Fort Mill. It was an amazing experience and I would highly recommend them. Feel free to ask me all about it. 

In South Carolina there are two Birth Centers in Greenville SC Carolina Waterbirth and Labors of Love Birth Center. 

The Charlotte area will have a new choice of Birth Center in Well Body and Birth soon but they are still in the building process.

Question for your doctor: Would he/she support you and work with a home birth midwife if you decided to go this route?

Epidurals are not the only form of pain relief available during labor.

Epidurals are a common form of pain relief during labor, but they are not the only option available. Other forms of pain relief include nitrous oxide, spinal blocks, opioid injection and natural methods such as hypnobirthing, acupuncture, chiropractic care, water birth, TENS, breathing techniques, movement, position changes and massage. These options can provide a more natural and less invasive form of pain relief.

Question for your doctor: What other pain relief options do they see often that’s effective other than epidural? How often do you attend unmedicated births?

You can bring your own music or sounds to the delivery room.

Music can have a powerful impact on our emotions, and it can help create a calm and soothing environment for you during labor. You can bring your own playlist, a sound machine, or even your own voice to help you relax and focus during labor. 

Don’t forget the headphones if you want to tune out the other noises as well. I found a soundtrack from my yoga class I really loved and used that to help me disconnect from the chaos at the hospital. Personally the room was quiet but waiting in triage downtown was stressful for me. Creating my own little bubble to focus on my labor and baby was such a blessing. 

Question for your doctor: Can I bring music to the birthing room? 

Birthing pools can help you feel more comfortable and relaxed during labor.

Warm water can help ease the pain and discomfort of contractions, and it also allows you to move around more easily, which can help the baby move down the birth canal. They say birthing pools can also provide a sense of privacy and intimacy during labor. But there are still others in the room so I’m not sure about this outside of a home birth. However getting into the squat or a kneeling position when you are in labor is much easier in the water. 

Fun Fact 2: I had an unplanned water birth with my birth center baby. I wanted to labor in the pool and once I got in pure bliss. My midwife didn’t even ask if I wanted to get out.  

I thought the water would be cool, but during labor, it felt incredibly warm. They typically keep the water slightly cooler than say bath water to keep mom from overheating but also to protect baby from shock during delivery. Which makes sense but I thought it would feel cold, in hindsight that was probably silly thinking. 

Question for your doctor: Are there birth pools at the hospital or another way I can use water to relax? If not what about a stool in the shower? 

You will probably poop during labor (and that’s okay!).

It’s normal to experience this during birth, and nurses and doctors see it all the time. You are using the same muscles to deliver your baby.  Don’t let this concern hold you back, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Birthing positions – there are many different positions that can help make the birthing process easier.

There are various birthing positions that can help make the birthing process easier, such as standing up, sitting down, on your hands and knees, squatting, kneeling or even lying down. Experiment with different positions to find what feels most comfortable for you. And don’t feel like you can’t change in the moment, if it feels right for you, it probably is. 

Question for your doctor: In what positions are you willing to help me birth my baby? How does an epidural change those options?

Doulas are a great support and aren’t only used for birth. Charlotte has great birth, and postpartum doulas.

A doula is a professional trained to provide emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner during pregnancy, labor, delivery, and postpartum period. A doula can help you with relaxation techniques, provide emotional support, and advocate for your wishes during birth.

Question for your doctor: Do you work with doulas often? Are there any you recommend?

I have a list of Doulas on this momma resource page here for you. Both Birth and Postpartum. You can also dive deeper on this blog post What is a doula?

You can eat and drink during labor, if you want to.

Having a light snack can help keep your energy levels up. It’s important to listen to your body and your healthcare provider during labor, and to make sure you are well hydrated and nourished. If you have dietary restrictions be sure to ask about the options or pack safe snacks.

Question: Under what circumstances will I not be allowed to eat or drink in labor?

The power of the mind – visualization and other relaxation techniques can help during labor.

Visualization and relaxation techniques such as hypnobirthing, yoga, and meditation can help you stay calm and focused during labor. It can also help to lower stress hormones and increase endorphins, which can make labor more manageable.

Question: Is there anything I can do now to learn how to cope with labor?

Cesarean sections are not as scary as they seem.

C-sections are a common form of delivery and can be planned or unplanned. Your doctor and nurses will take great care of you and your baby during the procedure. It’s important to remember that a c-section is a surgical procedure and there are risks associated with it, but it can also save the lives of both mother and baby in certain situations. Currently 32% of all births in the US are c-sections. While I personally think that number should be lower, the reality is your doctor has done this before.

Question: In what circumstances do you perform c-sections? 

So, there you have it, mama. You’re armed with some new information that will hopefully help you feel more confident and excited about your birth! 

From Preparing for Birth to Preserving the Moments

You’re asking the right questions now so you can step into birth feeling prepared, confident, and empowered. But once your little one arrives, the moments will pass in a blur—and that’s where I come in.

As a maternity and newborn photographer, I help parents preserve the beauty of this journey—from the quiet anticipation of pregnancy to the first tender days with your baby. Let’s create timeless portraits that celebrate this incredible chapter in your life.

👉Learn more about my Newborn photography by clicking here. Because the moment you’re preparing for now will soon be a memory worth holding onto forever. 🩷

I hope reading Forget the Status Quo: 10 Reasons to Break the Rules of Traditional Childbirth has helped you feel more prepared for childbirth!

Want a free printable checklist of the 10 questions to ask your doctor or maternity care provider? Grab your free checklist here!